Are There Always Power Imbalances In Relationships?
QUESTION: Is it possible to have a truly balanced partnership? Love is so complicated and so many things go into relationships - can we ever truly be equal in all things? And if not, is that a bad thing?
There is rarely complete equality in relationships. Whether it’s with a friend, a coworker, or a lover, it’s often normal that one person in the relationship has more power than the other.
When it comes to romantic partnerships (or triads, quads, etc.), this inequity can show itself in many forms and isn’t always limited to one partner being completely empowered and the other being controlled. Sometimes, one partner holds power over another in one way, and another person holds power in a different way. Whatever your situation is, it’s unlikely that you both hold the exact same cards when playing the game of love.
Maybe your partner is more financially stable than you; maybe you’re the one who has more say in social plans (like where you go to dinner or which friends you go out with); maybe you hold control over your partner emotionally, but they are the one who dictates your sex life. These imbalances are not always bad, and they don’t mean your relationship is doomed to fail. Keeping it afloat takes mindfulness and staying aware of all aspects of your relationship.
These relational nuances are worth interrogating. It can hard to recognize power imbalance when you’re really “in it,” you know?
XOXO Gigi
Order the book: All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life.