Are you a ‘grower’ or a ‘shower’?
QUESTION: What does it mean to be a grower or a shower? I’m a grower and I find it’s really anxiety producing. I don’t want my partners to think I can’t satisfy them. I’m always worried about taking my pants off and getting laughed at or judged.
Are you a “grower” or a “shower”?
There are few penis owners who haven’t been asked this question, and it is so embedded into the cultural lexicon that we can’t escape it as a concept. We are #obsessed.
Why? Because of our toxic idea of what it means to be a “man.” We’re hot for the debate of grower vs. shower because big penises are still at the pinnacle of what we consider peak masculinity. Your dick can’t even catch a break when it’s flaccid. How can anyone handle that much pressure? Frankly, it’s bullshit.
Showing off your penis is supposed to give you confidence and “show what a man you are.” If you have a big weiner, it’s supposedly ultimate symbol of masculinity - especially if you can show how big it is even when it’s soft. And that’s why penis size is such a huge source of anxiety for a lot of men. Because this is an impossible standard to live up to for most people.
I can tell you right now that falling into either of these two camps is completely normal. We need to stop placing so much importance on penis size and focus instead on actual sexual skills.
But in case you’re still wondering why some people are growers and others are showers, here is what the science tells us — and what it doesn’t.
Grower vs. Shower: What does it even mean?
A grower is someone whose penis is much smaller when flaccid than when erect. A shower is someone whose penis is close to the same size when flaccid as it is when erect, or the penis looks quite substantial no matter the physical state. The idea is that the person looking at the penis is being “shown” what they can expect during sex.
Some people grow bigger than their flaccid state and some stay pretty much the same size when flaccid to erect. It’s just the name of the game.
What the science has to say.
While there are many theories running rampant on the why behind being a grower vs. shower, experts agree that it comes down to one simple thing: genetics. Yep, it’s really out of your control. Whether you’re a grower or a shower depends on the amount of collagen you have and the elasticity of your penile tissue.
When it comes to what is more “common,” a study from 2018 of 274 participants showed that 74% of people are showers. While this sample size was quite small and may not be representative of the whole male-bodied population, it does give us some insight. Basically, science tells us that growing or showing happens as a result of complex genetic development. Everyone is different, and that’s okay.
It’s all totally normal.
Penises are all unique — no two are exactly the same. Some penises are bigger, some are smaller, some are thicker, some are thinner. Some grow and some show.
Penises can also vary in size depending on where you are mentally, physically or environmentally at the time. For instance, if it’s mad cold outside, you junk may temporarily shrink in order to stay warmer. #biology.
Are there any perks to being a shower or a grower?
The perks of being a shower or grower are purely psychological. If you’re a shower, you probably aren’t self-conscious about the state of your flaccid penis. This, in turn, could lead to more body confidence.
But here’s the thing, as long as you’re able to perform the way you want to, how your penis looks while flaccid is kind of meaningless. If you can maintain erections the way you want, experience pleasure, give pleasure, etc. - it doesn’t mean jack shit if your penis grows or shows.
Regardless of where you fall on the ‘grower v shower’ spectrum, sexual performance is not impacted.
There is quite literally zero evidence that being a grower or shower makes you better or worse in bed. Some people have the toxic masculine idea that a bigger penis means the person is better at sex. This just isn’t true. We need to let go of the penis shame, give male-bodied people a break and focus on enjoying pleasure rather than obsessing about penis size.
We need to stop worrying about this because it’s messing with our heads. The only time being a grower or shower could impact you is if you’re so worried about it that anxiety makes it impossible for you to get an erection. If this is the case, I’d definitely suggest seeing a sex therapist or coach who can help you work through your anxieties.
Being a grower or shower isn’t going to make you better or worse in bed. In fact, penis size in general has very little to do with sexual performance. Communication during sex while being able to give and receive pleasure are the things that actually make sex good, not the size of your dick.
XOXO GIGI
This blog post originally appeared on InsideHook.