How Can You Make Time For Intimacy During The Holidays?
QUESTION: WE HAVE OUR KIDS AND FAMILY AROUND FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND AREN’T SURE HOW WE’RE GOING TO MAKE TIME FOR SEX AND INTIMACY. WHAT CAN WE DO?
INTIMATE TIME IS STILL IMPORTANT, NO MATTER THE TIME OF YEAR. NO EXCUSES!
The best way to make time for intimacy during the holidays is to set the time aside for it. Couples should be spending time alone for at least 30 minutes every single day. Even if you have kids, you definitely have thirty minutes. There are ways to make that time a priority.
Spend 30 minutes before bed naked cuddling, kissing, fooling around, whatever it is, instead of watching that last episode of 90-Day Fiance. The only way to make intimacy happen is to make it a priority.
APPROACHING INTIMACY IN TIMES OF FAMILIAL STRESS.
Take sex off the table. You don't need to have intercourse (or any sex, really) to feel close. Sure, orgasms are amazing and they do help you manage stress, but having full on sex can be overwhelming to the point where we avoid being intimate altogether because we don't want the pressure to "perform" for our partners. Instead, figure out what it is about sex that makes it appealing.
Give and get a massage, kiss deeply, talk and stroke each other. Fostering closeness is really the key to making it through these times of stress. If you can handle it, masturbate together. This is a quick and easy way to ease anxiety and to help you feel closer to your partner, without the obligation of "sex."
HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF THE TIME YOU HAVE TOGETHER.
Set the time aside as something that you "need" to do. Maybe it's a reoccurring "work meeting" you both happen to have at 4pm every day. It's a chance to be together and catch up - to be intimate and reestablish your bond on a daily basis. You're in this together with your partner and even 30 minutes a day to be reminded of that can be hugely helpful.
MY BIG TIP FOR KEEPING IT ROMANTIC DURING THE COLD WINTER MONTHS.
My best romantic holiday tip is to make the most of cozy settings. Get candles, fairy lights, and some cinnamon scented reeds for the bedroom. Make it romantic and holiday-vibey so you can relax into the joy and cheer around this time of year and tune out the stress.
XOXO GIGI
This article originally appeared as an interview with Medium.
