QUESTION: IS MUTUAL MASTURBATION GOOD FOR RELATIONSHIPS? OR SHOULD YOU LEAVE MASTURBATION IN THE PAST FOR YOUR PARTNER?

WAIT SO WHAT EVEN IS MUTUAL MASTURBATION?

Usually when you're referring to mutual masturbation, you're talking about self-pleasuring within view of your partner while they pleasure themselves as well. This can be done while watching porn together or just watching each other. You can incorporate dirty talk, role play, or fantasy. There are no limits!

I can understand why there would be confusion considering we have so little sex education in this country (and basically anywhere, to be honest). There are also a lot of new terms emerging around sex, gender, and sexuality, which can lead to confusion about everything means. If you didn't know what mutual masturbation was, that's totally OK. We're all out here just trying to educate ourselves.

HOW SEEING HOW YOUR PARTNER TOUCHES THEMSELVES CAN BE ~EDUCATIONAL~ FOR YOU (AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP).

It's super educational to see how your partner touches themselves because you don't know ~exactly~ how they like to be touched without actually seeing it. Sure, asking for and explaining what you want is one thing, but seeing someone do it for themselves is a totally different animal.

You might look at a partner with a penis and think "Oh, I didn't know they liked to touch the head of their penis during masturbation!" or look at a person with a vulva and think, "Look at that! I didn't know they liked to use their vibrator/hand on their mons pubis." Mutual masturbation can help make partnered sex even hotter because you learn ~exactly~ what the other person likes and therefore, you can pleasure them even better. 

WHY IT’S SO HOT.

It's sexy to see how your partner touches themselves! It's like your own personal porn movie starring someone you care about. What could be better? You get to see how sexy and hot they are while they're getting off. Those sex faces and sex sounds are electrifying. I highly suggest giving this a go if you're looking to try new things with your partner and to spice up your sex life. It's a whole new experience that can light up all kinds of erotic energy.

TIPS FOR MAKING IT BETTER.

If you're feeling a bit awkward about trying this, some porn can be really helpful. Find something you both like. You want to be sure both of you are equally as turned on. If porn is not your thing, you can try some erotica. You can read or listen to an erotic story together while you masturbate. This can also be very stimulating!Definitely get some toys in on the action. If you have a vulva, bring in a vibrator. People with penises can also use vibrators.

You can use a wand on the tip of a penis for some intense orgasms. Penis owners may also enjoy masturbation sleeves like the Tenga Eggs.It's also really important to remember that mutual masturbation is not cheating, nor does it replace your sex life. This is just another, totally different, sex act. No sex act is better than any other. Think of this is as just another thing to add to the sexual menu. We shouldn't be afraid of trying new things just because our upbringing has shamed us into thinking only missionary sex within a heterosexual relationship is acceptable. Open yourself up to more!

XOXO Gigi

This article originally appeared as an interview with HelloGiggles.
Order the book: All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life.