Is Masturbation Cheating?


Question: My partner is very insecure about my masturbation habits. She says it’s cheating. It feels like this is blocking my sexuality and really limiting my ability to explore. Is she right?


Cheating is betrayal. Cheating is physically having sexual contact with another person(s). It is deception. Cheating is NOT getting yourself off. You cannot cheat on your partner with yourself.

The whole concept is just silly. There are so many other, grander relationship concerns you’ll deal with during the course of your relationship. Don’t put masturbation on that list.

Masturbation is not bad nor does it damage partnerships. In fact, studies have shown that masturbating in relationships can actually increase overall libido, leading people to more frequent partnered sexual play.

Masturbation is often shrouded in shame and deemed a baser, less important sex act than actual intercourse (wrong) or it’s thought that engaging in masturbation is cheating on your partner (wrong, again). While there are countless masturbation myths, one thing we particularly take issue with is the idea that if you’re in a happy, healthy relationship, you shouldn’t “need” or “want” to masturbate.

As if your partner were some magical unicorn who could fulfill all your sexual needs on a dime. Again, wrong. Not only is it unreasonable to expect one person to satisfy every single sexual whim, the very notion of this takes away from the beauty of masturbation. It's a literal human urge and it is completely normal and healthy to do it.

Masturbation, like pretty much all consensual sex acts, has its place inside and outside of relationships. And not only does it have its place, it can even spice things up between the two of you. Namely, when you masturbate WITH your partner. Mutual masturbation is a very fun way to have one off the wrist without all the energy is takes for more intense sex acts.

XOXO GIGI


Part of this article originally appeared as an interview with Mashable.

Order the book: All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life.

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