Question: What is the deal squriting? We need to know.

1. What is squirting? What actually is the liquid?

Here is what we do know and what we don’t know. Squirting is definitely real. It happens for some vulva owners during vaginal intercourse, manual stimulation, or stimulation with a toy of (prepare for a BIG word): The clitourethrovaginal complex. This can feel very pleasurable for some people with vulvas, but not all. Some types of stimulation feel very intense and great for one person, but can be quite uncomfortable or icky for others. 

There are two kinds of real life squirting that occur (we think, anyway): Squirting through the Skene’s glands vs Gushing squirt. Both are emitted through the urethra.

“Squirting,” or female ejaculation, has been thought to happen only when the Skene’s glands expel an alkaline, milky white fluid (usually in tandem with orgasm, but not always). This usually happens when G-spot stimulation is involved somewhere in the sexual play, but not in every case. 

The Skene’s glands are located by the G-spot (at the back end of the internal clitoris) and the urethral sponge. The fluid is similar to prostate fluid. The Skene’s Glands only release about 1-2 tablespoons of liquid in total SO, if your partner is a big, fire hydrant squirter, it’s coming from the bladder, not the Skene’s. Hence the two kinds of squirting.

Whether you’re squirting entirely through the Skene’s Glands (unlikely, considering its proximity to the liquid-rich urethral sponge) or gushing it out from the bladder and/or The Skene’s Glands, it makes zero sense that squirt wouldn’t have some pee in it.

2. Can everyone squirt or is it less common than porn makes out?

To add even more oddity to the whole situation, not every vulva-owning person squirts. This is just a fact. While every person with a vagina does have the same anatomical parts, not everyone can squirt. We’re not entirely sure why this is yet, but hopefully science will catch up.

Everywhere you look on free porn sites you’ll see the word “squirting.” Dare to actually click on one of these links and you’ll see a camera full of hairless vulvas with liquid shooting from the vaginas of various porn actors, at truly volcanic speeds. The way this is done? Actresses shoot water up their vaginas (in all kinds of ways) and then clench really tightly. The camera rolls. The actress releases all the liquid. It's entertainment, not reality. It can make people with vaginas who don't  squirt like this feel inadequate - and that's not good.

3. Can you orgasm without squirting?

Orgasm and squirting usually happen in tandem, but not always. They are two different physiological functions. Usually, if you're manipulating that area, it's in a sexual context - and when you really "let go" this is usually at the time of climax - that's why they can happen together. But not always. You can manipulate the Skene's glands and the urethral sponge and experience squirting without orgasm, too. I think this can be confusing sometimes - because often when people squirt they might not orgasm and so they, again, are confused about what is going on and may feel inadequate as a result of not "performing" the way they think they're supposed to.

4. What is the problem with the obsession with squirting?

The problem with this obsession with squirting is the same problem as all other forms of performative sexuality: It can make people who don't feel bad about themselves. It can make them feel broken. We need to understand that good sex is about pleasure, not performance. It's not about getting your body to do something, it's about enjoying your body and the pleasure you get from sex. You can totally try to squirt or try to learn to squirt (Beducated and Kenneth Play both have great courses around this), but it should come from a place of curiosity and wanting to expand your pleasure horizons, not because you feel you have to achieve something to be good at sex. It's about your mindset and where your motivation is coming from.

XOXO GIGI

Part of this blog originally appeared as an interview with MetroUK.