QUESTION: What is Edging and How Can I Use it For Stronger Orgasms?

Edging is when you tease your partner with oral sex, hand sex, penetrative sex, a sex toy etc. right up until they’re about to orgasm, only to stop right before they come. Then, you start the whole sexual arousal cycle over again once they’ve cooled down.  It takes the pressure off of sexual performance, something so many people with penises and vulvas both need to fully enjoy sex.

It’s one of the most frustrating, incredible experiences ever. Once you finally do go over the edge and give into that release, the orgasm is insanely intense from all the buildup. It’s a difficult practice, but with some effort, it can be mastered. 

The idea is that if you continually bring yourself (or a partner) super close to orgasm, without actually having an orgasm, then when you finally do go over the edge, it will intensify the whole experience. Your nerve-endings are very sensitive, and in the sexual response cycle, your body wants to reach climax. Continuously juicing up those nerve endings builds intensity, both in a physical and psychological sense.

Try with slow oral. Slow oral sex may sound like some kind of strange, erotica term -- but it’s actually a cunninlingus technique that could take you into your biggest orgasm ever. No promises, but it’s worth a try. This works best with vulva-owners, but it can be fun for penises too!

Spend time with the vulva. Explore it. Devote a solid thirty minutes to oral sex. Let your partner know how sexy they are and how much you want to be down there. 

Stick with deeper, stronger movements of the tongue rather than quick, rapid licks over the clitoris. Move in slow, controlled circles. Stay consistent. If your partner resists (and they’ve consented to this), hold their wrists at their side until you feel them get close to orgasm and … STOP! Then, start all over again. It will not disappoint. It can be a full-body experience.

When it comes to edging with penises: It can help you deal with certain bedroom concerns, including premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. It helps you to train your body to control your orgasm, which allows you to get more in tune with your body overall.

If you want to get real weird it, you make edging last for DAYS. Orgasm deprivation is a bit like edging in that you build up pleasure without allowing for orgasmic release. Some experts would say they’re synonymous, and in some cases they can be. With edging, you literally are depriving someone of orgasm. Get it?

But, as a coach, I prefer to keep the terms separate in that orgasm deprivation can last DAYS. This is a big one and it isn’t for the faint of heart. You and your partner have to be truly committed to waiting for the release. Work up to nearly orgasming every night (or morning, afternoon, whenever) for a few days. 

Once you’ve sufficiently tortured yourself, allow yourselves to orgasm on whichever night you’ve designated as the final showdown. This is not for everyone, but if you can pull it off, it’s ridiculously hot.

Be sure that you’re staying mindful and breathing throughout your practice. Check in with your body. Check in with your partner and be sure that everyone is on board and having a great time. Eding is an incredible way to connect emotionally and physically with your partner - it builds trust and intimacy in a totally unique way.

If you find that edging just isn’t for you, that’s OK, too. There a million ways to enjoy sex. Get curious with it.

XOXO Gigi

This article is sponsored by VivaStreet.

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