QUESTION: What’s a spit kink?

People are horny as hell for spit.

Having a spit kinks means that you get an erotic charge from being spat on or spitting on someone. Getting spit on is widely accepted as being one the most horrific, degrading things someone could do to another person IRL. But in sex, it can be sought after, craved, and a part of play. 

What’s more, being horned up for spit can go beyond the physical act of spitting and manifest as a focus on saliva. This can be done for bonding, intimacy, and even sensation play. Sex is so weird and we love it.

So, what’s the deal with spit kinks? Why are we into them and how can we indulge in them? Let’s dig in.

What is a spit kink?

What is a spit kink, you ask? Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like: Being into spit, in a sexual way. 

I mean, it’s exactly what it sounds like: Having spit and/or saliva be a part of sex. This can involve actual spitting (on someone, in someone’s mouth etc.) or using saliva in some way during sexual play. Basically, it’s about spit and sex. That’s right, folx. Sexy spit. We hope the mental images are already pouring in with wild abandon.

Spit kinks fall under the BDSM umbrella and often involve some level of humiliation play, though this isn’t always the case. The Dom may spit on the sub for many reasons including bonding, humiliation, an interest in bodily fluids, and more. Like all things in sex, spit kinks can be played out in a million different ways and the ways people engage with them will depend on what they want out of the scene. 

How to practice spit-play in a safe and consensual way.

If you want to get down with a spit kink, there are some things you should keep in mind so that your play is done in an ethical way. Here are the three golden rules.

Consent.

If you’re going to spit on someone or have them spit on you, you need 100 percent, enthusiastic consent. Figuring out how you want to play with this kink before you try it is very important. We all have limits.

Communicate.

Firstly, you want to be sure everyone is on board with spitting before spitting happens. Spitting on someone without asking is a violation of their consent. Make sure everyone is down to go to Saliva Town. Boundaries with kink play need to be discussed before the play happens so everyone is on board and feels safe.

If you’re playing with spit and someone is not having it or decides it isn’t working for them at that moment, you both need to be able to communicate with each other. 

Having a safe word can be really beneficial here. This is a non-sexual word designed to let a partner know that a boundary has been reached. 

Be careful with your health. 

While saliva is generally safe as far as STIs go, you could still pass on viral infections — like a cold or COVID. If you or your partner are feeling unwell, keep spit play on the back burner until you’re back to 100 percent.

You might be wondering about oral Herpes or HS1V. You can’t get oral herpes through spit. It’s spread through skin-on-skin so you should be safe. Now, since oral herpes is spread by skin-to-skin, if someone has an active cold sore, take precautions — like avoiding oral sex and kissing. 

Why people are so into spit during sex.

People find a lot of things attractive about spit during sex. Well, it’s fun and it’s a great way to explore BDSM and boundaries, basically. 

Consensual D/s play

Being into spit is inherently kinky because kink is anything that falls outside the realm of vanilla sex. I can safely say spitting on someone falls outside of these parameters. Spit kinks can be a part of a bigger Dominant/submissive role play. The act of spitting on a sub can be a form of erotic humiliation and/or a way to create a deeper bond between the Dom/sub. 

Intimacy with saliva 

Swapping spit can also be a way to create intimacy. You’re literally sharing spit with someone. You’re getting very close to them.

Being into bodily fluids

People are turned on by my bodily fluids because we’re able to eroticize basically anything. Some bodily fluid kinds might manifest as being turned on by blood, piss play, sweat, and yes, spit. 

Being into wet and messiness during sex

Spit can also be a part of "wet and messy" fetishes. These include things like food play and sploshing … and spit! 

Or maybe you just love the sensation.

People might also be into saliva and/or spitting because they enjoy the sensation. Play tells us that you might just like the feeling of spit on your skin, the sound of someone spitting, or the way it feels. Basically, spit kinks can be a form of sensation play 

Is it normal to spit?

While there are a whopping ZERO studies on spit kinks (boring), these kinks are quite common. According to research from his book, Tell Me What You Want, Dr. Justin Lehmiller found that roughly nine percent of participants reported engaging in spitting or being spat on during sexual activity. Play says that this kink is not exactly in the mainstream per se, but it’s definitely something people are into. It’s totally normal to have a spit kink. So, if you’re worried about it, don’t be. 

Sexual expression is so hugely varied that there is no simple way to pin it down. People are into what they’re into. And we should be more chill about that. If you’re out here asking your partner to spit in your mouth, that’s totally fine. 

Be safe, communicate, and allow yourself to get off on the things that you like. Life’s too short for shame. 

XOXO GIGI

Part of this blog originally appeared on Mashable.