QUESTION: What do “normal” vaginas taste and smell like? Because they taste like computer chips to me.

So, I got a request from an editor over at Cosmo (hi, Kayla!) and decided I’d write up a lil G-Spot on it because frankly it’s really fucking weird … but also somehow makes sense.

Ok, what am I even talking about? Apparently this incredibly weird tweet is making the rounds.

I Thought cooochies tasted like strawberries mf taste like laptops.

In which a man said that vaginas (but I assume he means vulvas and vaginas because why are men). And the thing that stuck out to my editor the most was this: There was a massive number of people in the replies who seemed to fully agree with this. OK. So let’s break it down because I have some THOUGHTS.

People have been making odd comparisons about the ways vaginas smell since basically forever. It's deeply rooted in Patriarchy and female sexual shame. Accepting the way your vagina tastes and or smells is empowering for female sexuality so anything people (cis-men) can do to subdue our sexual freedom will and has been used as a tool of control. The idea that vaginas are weird, gross, or smell is part of a systemic cultural ideology that female sexuality needs to be quelled. 

Now, with that being said - there is a kernel of truth to this, but not the way you might think.

I have heard that vaginas taste/smell metallic, which is what I believe these people are referring to - albeit, poorly. 

Vaginas do have a smell and a taste and that taste is ... vagina (and vulva). A slightly metallic odor or taste is actually quite normal because the vaginal pH is slightly acidic. There's nothing wrong with this and not everyone will have this experience with their or someone else's vagina/vulva. A metallic taste can be more common in the days after menstruation, as trace amounts of blood may still be in and around the vagina. Blood has a metallic taste because of its iron content. But it’s always normal and fine. Humans be humans, ya know?

The problem is when we start comparing this to batteries and electronics because what is being inferred is that this is a REALLY BAD THING.

But it isn't.

It is completely natural and vaginas just smell and taste the way they smell. When you say a vagina smells like electronics, you're inferring that this is gross and so you shouldn't want that. People aren’t out here jonesing for an Apple product taste fix, you know?

This reinforces the idea that women and vagina owners should be doing "something" to change their natural smell or odor when they shouldn't be. This is how we propagate a multi-billion dollar "vaginal hygiene" industry that convinces vulva owners that their vaginas should smell like pineapple, strawberries, or whatever the fuck.

They shouldn't.

They should smell like a vagina and vaginas have a smell like all human body parts have a smell. It's a moist environment and, sure, it might not be totally neutral and it really might have a slight metallic taste - but we really need to understand that this is the way it is and honestly, they taste and smell divine just the way they are.

Anyway, thanks for bearing with me on that one. And please don’t use scented “hygiene products” because you WILL get a yeast infection/BV and I don’t want that for you. And if someone shames you for the way your puss smells, girl, dump him.

XOXO GIGI

Part of this blog first appeared as an interview with Cosmo.