Question: As a woman I masturbate daily, but feel there is a stigma that comes with this. Am I normal?

Answer: One of the most pernicious lies young people hear is that a vibrator or sex toy can be addictive or damage our clitorises, making them unable to feel manual pleasure ever again. It’s deeply based in shame-culture, one that seeks to slut-shame and harm women by telling them a thing that can bring them pleasure, joy, and connection to their bodies is damaging. 

The idea that masturbation could be wrong or bad in this, the year of our Lord 2021, sits with me like this sour feeling one can’t be rid of. It lives everywhere. Masturbation is considered this “less-than” act. It ranks at the bottom of the barrel of sexual acts. It’s a “last resort” or something people (men especially, for women are never afforded this outlook) need to do in order to “get by” and keep their libidos in check. And this is, to put it scientifically, utter bullshit.

I’m here to tell you that masturbation is completely normal and healthy, no matter how much you want to do it. Just be sure you’re using a reliable lube, aren’t shirking all of your work and life commitments in favor of getting off (though it’s OK to do sometimes), and check in with yourself so you can remind yourself that you are a strong, beautiful woman is deserving of all the pleasure in the world.

Question: Is masturbation good for you / are there any benefits?

Answer: Absolutely. It’s amazing for your health. Giving yourself pleasure should be as fundamental to your daily routine as breakfast and brushing your hair. When we orgasm, our brains release a whole host of feel-good chemicals that offer a state of calm and well-being. They can help relieve headaches, hangovers, anxiety, and even help your skin look more glowy.

During these uncertain times, our stress levels are extremely high. And orgasms have positive impact on stress. They reduce the body’s natural stress hormone, cortisol, while flooding it with feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine. So, get after it!

Question: Can you masturbate while on your period?

Answer: Yes! And I would recommend it because orgasms can help to relieve menstrual cramps - something we all know we could live without. We’ve been socialized to think our bodies aren’t worthy of sex or pleasure when we’re on our cycle because it’s “gross” or “dirty.” And, it honestly just isn’t. 

If you’re worried about a mess, keep a menstrual cup in and use an external clitoral vibrator while masturbating. If you want to use toys internally, be sure to lay down a few towels to avoid staining sheets. Quality sex toys are designed to handle all body secretions and fluids. You’re not going to mess them up with a little period blood.

The point is: If you want to masturbate, masturbate. There is no time when it’s off-limits.

XOXO Gigi

This article is sponsored by VivaStreet.

Order the book: All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life.