QUESTION: I’ve heard a lot about nipple orgasms, but this seems fake. What’s the deal?

Nipple orgasms. I’m talking straight up orgasms that happen through nipple stimulation alone. No touching of penises, buttholes, or vulvas. 

Yes, they are real. 

Orgasms are a brain-body response to sexual tension. They are the release of tension at the height of this response. Stimulation of the nipples can lead to this kind of tension build-up in the body, resulting in orgasm. 

If you’ve been wondering how to get your nipples in on the action — and are curious as to how you actually make an orgasm happen from this kind of stimulation, look no further. Auntie G has got the goods.

How nipple orgasms work.

OK, so maybe you’re skeptical. And that’s just fine. Let’s break down some of the science here.

Research shows that when our primary erogenous zones like the nipples, neck, and feet are stimulated, they can cause a sexual response. This is due to the sensory cortexin the brain. Our brains and bodies are interconnected in a network of nerve-endings, sending signals back and forth through the spine. When your nipples are stimulated, a signal is sent to the brain letting it know it feels good. The brain registers this stimulation as sexual, sending a corresponding signal to the genitals. 

That’s right, the same area of the brain that lights up when we have our genitals stimulated lights up when we have our nipples stimulated. 

When we focus on the nipples, stimulating them with fingers, toys, or a mouth, we can create a strong enough arousal response to produce an orgasm.

Pretty much any part of the body can offer up an orgasm - depending on the kind of stimulation you get from it. People find different things sexually exciting. As long as you can get to that top tension release (orgasm), it could happen. Bodies are a wonder. 

Can everyone have nipple orgasms?

If everyone has a set of nips, does that mean that everyone can stimulate those puppies to the point of blast off? That is the question. Theoretically it should be possible for anyone to have a nipple orgasm, but that doesn’t mean everyone will (or even want to). 

Here is the skinny: Not everyone is into every kind of stimulation. We like different things. What excites one person may not excite another. It’s not that you CAN’T, it’s more like that isn’t what you’re into so nipples may not be your cup of tea for sexual stimulation. Like I said, everyone is different and enjoys different things during sex.

Also, some people just don’t have particularly sensitive nipples. They may enjoy nipple stimulation, but don’t have the sensitivity required to get to a full climax. There is nothing wrong with this. People are unique. Not everything works for everyone and that is A-OK.

I should also mention that nips are rarely given the attention needed to produce enough stimulation to reach a climax. They get a bit of a honk or a suck or a like, but true devoted nipple attention during sex just isn’t all that common for most people. 

My point being: It is possible that you could think you don’t have the sensitivity required, but really you haven’t spent enough time engaging with your nipples to know for sure. 

The only way to find out is to give it a try for yourself.

Some tips for possibly having a nipple orgasm.

1. Breathe, baby.

One of the main barriers to experiencing orgasm is being distracted and therefore not connected to your body. We need to have a strong mind-body connection to build the kind of tension required for climax. We have to start by really solidifying the connection outside of sexual situations so that we can be more present inside of sexual situations. 

Start with breathing and mindfulness. Bringing awareness to your body and centering it on the  nipples will allow you to build a stronger connection to those sensations. This is needed to build up enough tension for orgasmic release.

2. Start on your own first.

Starting on your own with this practice can allow you the space and focus needed to figure out what works for you.  Start lighter and work up to more intense stimulation. Listen to your body. When we know the kinds of stimulation we enjoy, we’re better equipped to communicate with our partners. 

3. Start slowly and work your way in. 

You want to begin by getting yourself in the mood instead of going straight to the nips. 

Building up to nipple stimulation can jumpstart the arousal process. Start on the outside of the breast and lick and kiss your way in. This builds tension. This slow buildup can get the fires going so that when you really focus in on the nipples, they are extra sensitive.

4. Communicate. 

If you’re playing with a partner, communication is key. Some people may enjoy feather light touch, sucking, biting, or squeezing. There are so many different ways to stimulate the nipples, but you should always check in to see what everyone wants and enjoys - and what is or isn’t working for them.  

5. Get curious.

You can try sucking toys on the nipples (like this one from Lelo), you could grab an ice cube and try some temperature play, you could lick them, you could suck them, you could kiss them. There are endless possibilities here. Staying curious is a big part of finding the secret sauce that gets you over the edge. Be willing to experiment and find what works for you.

6. Don’t rush to orgasm. 

If you’re new to nipple play, you’re probably going to need to practice this a lot before you’re able to have an orgasm this way. Instead of focusing on climax, focus on the sensations. 

Nipples are pretty incredible things and if we give ourselves room to really explore them, we can open ourselves up to a lot of incredible pleasure. If you have an orgasm, awesome. If you don’t, that’s great, too. As long as everyone had a good time, that’s what matters.

XOXO GIGI

Part of this blog post originally appeared on Mashable.