Question: I think I’m legit attracted to money and luxury. Like, it turns me on. The smell of it, the feel of it, having facials and being gifted shoes. Am I normal?

Let’s break down money kinks. Because, honestly, it sounds like fun. And yes, they are real!

When we refer to “money kinks,” we’re not exactly talking about being literally horny for, like, paper money itself. Rather, it’s about being turned on by what that money represents in our capitalist society: power, status, luxury, and a largely unattainable lifestyle.

For example, if you become sexually aroused by having stacks of Benjamins rained down on you in bed at the Four Seasons, it’s unlikely that it’s literally the papery feel and distinct money smell that’s making you wet—it’s what the money means.

Naturally, the concept of a money kink begs a similar question to one that tends to follow recent media darling “praise kinks.” Inquiring writers (including myself) have wanted to know: Do you have a praise kink or do you just like receiving compliments? In this same vein, we might ask: Do you have a money/luxury kink or do you just like nice things?

So, what is a money kink, exactly? How can you know if you have one? And if you do, what are some ways you can engage with it without breaking the bank—at least for those of us who don’t have a sugar daddy (or sugar mama) to fund our expensive taste in sex.

What is a money kink?

The real question: Can you genuinely get turned on by expensive things, luxury, and money?

Basically, yeah, you absolutely can have a kink for money and luxury. The difference between being turned on by money and simply enjoying nice things is pretty straightforward. If you have a money kink, you legitimately become sexually aroused by money and luxury. If you just like nice things, you may get a lot of enjoyment out of them, but you don’t get sexually turned on, per se.

Obviously, this kind of kink really flourishes under capitalism. And yes, this likely reflects a whole bunch of problematic societal structures and injustices that we simply don’t have time to unpack right now because, hi, we’re talking sex here, not economics. But! That doesn’t make the kink itself any less real or valid.

Why are people turned on by money?

Again, it’s probably not about the literal dollar dollar bills, y’all. I mean, sure, maybe you are really turned on by the smell and feel of money—no judgment here, friends. But even if that’s the case, any attraction to the green stuff is likely still connected to the power and privilege money represents. Whatever sensory response you may have to that sweet, sweet cash is basically registered in the brain as “this smell/sight/feeling = money and money = power.” And bing, bang, boom, you’re randy as all hell.

But more than simply power itself, a money kink reflects classic Dom/sub power dynamics. Thus, the reasons someone might be turned on by money are pretty similar to the reasons people are turned on by other kinks. It’s all those endorphins and feel-good chemicals, folx.

Having money can also mean you’re able to provide or obtain a certain lifestyle, which can be sexually arousing for some. There’s a kind of caring nature that comes with being given money or luxurious things. And we humans do love that nurturing.

Money kinks and “findom”

If you’re at all familiar with the world of findom—aka financial domination, which is when someone is turned on by giving their money and/or assets to a professional Dom—you may be wondering if and how that little corner of kinkland fits into the whole money kink thing. Short answer: Yes, it definitely can.

Like all sexual turn-ons and fetishes, having a money kink is subjective and can be practiced in a variety of ways. So while it can exist independent of financial domination, they are related. They both include aspects of money exchange, so they work together – but don’t always work together in the same ways. 

TL;DR: Findom and money kinks both involve money and the exchange of power, but they don’t always go hand in hand. You can definitely have a money kink without being financially dominating a partner.

Is it normal to be turned on by money?

I mean, who is to say what is even normal, right? So, yeah, having a money kink is totally normal. There is no wrong way to enjoy kink and there is no wrong way to be aroused, as long as everyone involved in this kind of dynamic is an informed and consenting adult who’s fully aware of what’s going down and why.

Think about it. So many kinks, fetishes, and turn-ons are ultimately rooted in power exchanges—from BDSM and breeding kinks to age gaps and (many forms of) role-play. Money kinks are just one of many ways an attraction to playing with power dynamics can manifest.

It’s important to get clear about the ways you experience your money kink. Everyone has different ideas of what a money kink looks like and how they want to explore it. Before you play IRL, spend some time considering your fantasies and identifying some specific scenarios that get you going.

Ways to play with your money kink without breaking any banks

Now, you might have a money kink…but maybe you/your partner(s) lack the resources. After all, most of us don’t have a zillion dollars to spend on spa days, shoes, and vacations all in the name of getting horned up. This means we need to consider ways we can play with our desires and kinks that don’t, like, bankrupt us.

So how can you satisfy this turn-on in a way that’s safe for the ol’ bank account? 

Make shopping a part of fantasy rather than a real-life spending spree

Go ahead and online shop to your heart’s desire, BUT instead of pressing “buy.” This way, you can get your arousal going without being met with an astronomical credit card bill in a few weeks time.

Go for the less expensive option

Instead of buying a real Chanel purse, buy the knockoff. Bonus points if you can secure a real Chanel box to put it in for gifting. If you’re into luxurious experiences such as going to the spa, go to a cheaper place—or have your partner give you spa treatments at home. This same logic can be applied to pretty much any luxury-style item.

Set financial boundaries

Firm financial boundaries are needed in all money kink dynamics. This will mean getting clear about your finances. We know this may not sound sexy, but neither does being unable to pay your bills. It’s crucial to be realistic in order to engage with this kink in a safe and ethical way.

Basically, it’s not weird or wrong to have a money kink, but we have to consider ways to play with it responsibly. Of course, if you really want to be a sugar baby, I obviously support that journey too! You do you.

XOXO GIGI

Part of this blog originally appeared on Cosmo.