Question: What are some ways that you think monogamous long-term couples can spice things up if they’ve gone through a bit of a sexual lull, please?

1. Role play

Role play is a really amazing way to get some of the energy back that you had in the beginning of a relationship. It can also add a layer of playfulness to sex that a lot of couples are missing in LTRs. Have an open and honest conversation about some of your fantasies. Make the conversation about both you exploring and being open - so that everyone feels seen and heard. Role play is really accessible and fun - and yes, it can be awkward but humans ARE awkward. Sex should be fun and silly sometimes. It doesn't need to be super serious for it to be good. 

2. Have sex in places other than the bedroom.

The bedroom is great and everything, but it can start to become kind of boring to do the same old thing in the same old place. I recommend getting down and dirty in your kitchen as a fun and unique way to make things a bit more interesting. You can use the kitchen table or island to your advantage, having the penetrated partner sitting on the edge while the other stands between their legs. You can also use kitchen appliances to your advantage. Simply grab a wooden spoon and suddenly you have a paddle to do a little kinky spanking. Don't be afraid to get curious and have fun with it. Sex should be about mutual pleasure and enjoyment. As long as everyone is having a nice time, you're doing it right.

3. Masturbation should still be a part of your routine, coupled or not.

Masturbation is a healthy, normal part of life and it is totally OK to keep on masturbating when you’re in a relationship. It keeps your nerve endings primed and ready for all other partnered activities. Studies even show that women who masturbate more often are more interested in partnered sex overall.

4. Take the pressure off of orgasm.

Orgasms are fun and if you want that to be your end game, that’s totally fine. It’s up to you. The thing is, if we only see successful sexual play as one that ends with an orgasm, you’ll wind up disappointed sometimes. Instead of making orgasm the end-all-be-all of sex, focus on pleasure. Pleasure is wonderful for its own sake. If something feels good, enjoy it. If you have an orgasm (or a few), great. If not, you still had a wonderful time.  

XOXO GIGI

Part of this blog originally appeared as an interview with HuffPostUk.