Ask Gigi: Your Weekly Reads
This week’s best sex and relationships news from all around the web.
I Didn’t Have My First Orgasm Until I Was 28, Thanks to Chronic Pelvic Pain
I was woefully unprepared for the blinding pain that would crash through my body the first time I tried to insert a tampon. Admittedly, I had tuned out during most of the sex ed classes in middle school—I was a hypochondriac, so listening to someone talk about STDs and how scary pregnancy is sent me running to the nurse’s office—but none of my friends mentioned anything about pain when they recapped the class to me later.
After my first encounter with a tampon at 13, it took me a year to work up the courage to try using one again, the echoes of the crippling pain pressed into memory. Every time I did try to insert anything, that same intense, sharp pain returned. I never asked any of my friends if they too could only wear pads, because I was too ashamed. Read more …
By: Glamour and Allyson Byers
No, Duh!: Older people should have more sex, study shows
Sexual activity is an essential part of intimate relationships, though it tends to decline as people get older. But although research shows that frequency of sexual activity can decrease with age, for many older people, sex still remains an important part of their life.
There’s a common misconception that as people age, they lose their interest in sex and capacity for sexual behaviour. But, as a UK survey shows, this isn’t the case. Read more …
By: The Independent
LISTEN TO THIS: Why Are People Into That? Cake Sitting with Lindsay Dye, Pt. 1 & 2
About this episode and why you should bother listening: "The fetish itself is anti-consumption.” Lindsay Dye is a cam model, performance artist, and sculptor who specializes in the fetish known as cake sitting. In this episode, she explains the intersection of WAM (Wet & Messy Play) with crushing fetishism, as well as how Miami, empathy, clowning, power, laughter, tears, and more inform her public sittings.
Want To Orgasm Faster and More Frequently?
Sometimes you just want to come sooner rather than later. Whether you want to get more out of a quickie with a partner, sneak in a quick masturbation session before your favorite TV show begins, or simply beat a personal record, there are several tricks you can try to speed up your orgasm. Read more …
By: Refinery29 and Erika W. Smith
4 Remarkable Ways to Reignite Your Sexual Spark That Have Nothing to Do With Physical Touch
The fact that society’s experiencing an ever-spiraling sexual decline may not seem like the biggest problem we're facing, but sex plays an integral, foundational role in the health of any relationship. Studieshave shown that post-coital cuddles promote a greater sense of satisfaction within a relationship, which can improve communication and affection. Sex also keeps us mentally healthier as individuals. Read more …
By: NBC and Wendy Rose Gould
Bumble article comments indicate the rise of a far-right feminist-backlash
My dual identities as a woman and a researcher surfaced again as I read the comments on my article and saw the reactions on social media. Given the feminist analysis in my story, I anticipated some backlash. I have experienced similar push-back in my research on sex work, an issue that can illicit charged emotional responses.
But what I didn’t expect was the volume of angry comments from mostly male readers. What bothered them the most seemed to be the f-word: feminism. Read more …
By: The Conversation and Treena Orchard
How does celibacy affect your health?
How often a person has sex naturally changes from time to time, depending on age, fluctuations in sex drive, and relationship status. Many people enjoy a full and satisfying life without ever having sex.
In a study looking at data from 17,744 people in the United States, 15.2% of males and 26.7% of females reported having no sex in the last year, while 8.7% of males and 17.5% of females reported not having had sex for 5 years or more.
The authors concluded that "sexless Americans reported very similar happiness levels as their sexually active counterparts." Read more …
By: Medical News Daily and Zawn Villines
Why Does Sex Suddenly Become Painful?
Pain during sex isn't totally uncommon—we've all felt the cringe that follows not using enough lube. Around 12 to 16 percent of women report consistently painful sex, says Deborah Coady, M.D., a New York City ob-gyn and author of Healing Painful Sex, and there are many more who experience periodic pain.
If you do have any pain during the action, it's important to pay attention. Read more …
By: Glamour and Elyssa Goodman
How BDSM Can Help Heal Trauma and Emotional Pain
In my earliest heterosexual encounters, I never felt like I had much of a choice in anything. Once the guy began making advances, if he wasn’t terrible or mean (and sometimes even if he was), I just tried to relax and take it. I (wrongly) thought that once you said yes to having sex, you’d set that understanding: You now have sex together. I didn’t want to be a cock-tease or cause blue balls, both conditions I’d heard could literally cripple a man.
In the kink community, I found a totally different way to consider power, consent, and exploration. I found myself attracted to this community of people who operated with an enthusiastic yes, where everything was based on consent. Read more …
By: Salty and Leah Blooms
Can Sex Survive Marriage? What Do You Need to Keep to Intimacy Alive Over Time?
Researchers have long pondered how relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction influence one another during long-term relationships. Studies have looked at various aspects in isolation, but it isn't clear how they interact with each other. Is a good sexual relationship necessary for overall relationship satisfaction?
Does having a quality relationship make a married couple's sex life better? Is it possible to stay married and be sexually satisfied? Read more …
By: Psychology Today and Grant Hilary Brenner, MD.
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